Waking Up

A nightmare, always around the corner. The giant arowana was trivial but losing her wasn't. In this dream, we quarreled bitterly. Our relationship grew colder, even more strained, painful. It was scary, and I woke up with this weight on my heart. It was fear and terror all over again. I trembled. It felt so cold. I was so scared. I still am.

She's the only one who can tell me that everything's alright. She's the only one who can say the sweetest things, the right things, and make all the ghosts disappear. She's ineffably special to me. She's my strength and my frailty. She is my other half. I struggle for serenity without her around, but she's always so distant and cordial. What am I supposed to do? I'm fragile without her, yet vulnerable with her. I need her, I depend on her support. I need her to help me back on my feet. But I fall on my knees asking for her love.

The nightmare lives while sleeping. It's still there when I wake up.