Drained

I woke up today knowing I was about to bring formal charges against a teacher's competency and negligence. I put on the now-hated school uniform and headed out. I kept on wishing that there was some other way, that everything worked out properly in the first place so that I wouldn't have to fight so many opponents at once. First my circumstances, then myself, and now the establishment.

I'm so tired now that I can't study. I reduced my sedatives but forgot to take my vitamin B complex. My fatigue isn't physical. It's a drugged drowsiness and despondent resignation based on the old paradox: I want to study and give myself a fair chance while knowing full well I'm never going to get the grades I could achieve under better conditions. One could say my efforts are admirable but ultimately limited but neuro-chemistry and situational factors that I'm too tired to reiterate.

If the institution cannot help, then I pray God can. I hope my Member of Parliament will represent my interests even though no one has voted in this constituency for a very long time. No taxation without representation, taxation without representation is tyranny, phrases coined for the American Revolution. I hope my MP will represent me fairly and remedy my grievances. My situation sucks enough as it is, I don't want a half-baked teacher to ruin it even more.

Oh, I met Nicole on the bridge to Thomson Plaza yesterday. She has conveniently forgot the $300 I loaned her but has enough money to ponder going to the University of London on her father-doctor's money. Whatever, I don't care. I have turned into the hippies I studied: drugged, tuned-out, and looking for a happier way of life that isn't paranoid about productivity and wealth.

I'm so tired........................................................