Understanding The Mist

I understand why I binge at night, sleep late, watch TV or online shows in the twilight parenthesis between today and tomorrow. I understand why I don't want tomorrow to come. 

I am scared of its horrors, uncertainties, demands.

Courage lad!

Take the fight to the morrow!

I like waking up late because it seems like the comforting night is coming again, a time when I can rest without guilt, and there aren't too many hours left for studying till then.

What monsters lie within The Mist that shrouds tomorrow?

Courage lad!

Don't stay cowered in that glass prison, entrenched behind shelves of food!

I understand why the references for my thesis are almost entirely made up of online sources or books in my small little library, everything nicely in my room.

I don't want to mix with the world in all its filth, noise and smog. I don't want to see other's sighing shoulders, despondent eyes or vexed jawbones.

I don't want to see myself reflected in a thousand mirror shards, so sharp that it cuts on sight. Beholding mediocrity, weakness, angst and uncertainty is a painful thing to do.

Courage... lad?

Its hard to fight yourself...

I look back, down the trails of yesteryear, all erased by time and pain. But I slipped.

Yesterday's paper dated 2-0-0-7, black numbers whiter than the abyss it names.

I stared at it, it stared back. There goes my grip...