Pathetic

"I love you", what a stupid line to say. What sort of response could the utterer hope to illicit? It's a pathetic statement that earns more hate than love.

Statements of this nature are what I call the wounded puppy syndrome, much like Pip in Great Expectations, trailing her hoping for affection and becoming beggared in the process. I have seen her, an Estella-like person who keeps her heart beyond all reach. You won't see her soul past those eyes, those beautiful sparkling eyes full of gentleness and elegant strength.

But I kid myself - I am pathetic. I watched her all through secondary school, noting how many members of my sex craved for her attention and, despite their strength of character, crumbled at the lack of it. I swore to myself I wouldn't be like them, to yield what hurts me and enriches no one, but I've almost failed. I yielded up so much to her because she keeps it locked in her heart , where my frailties are safely hidden from the word.

She is alluring, captivating, so beyond my powers of description. Yet I love her not as a lover - I love her for reasons unknown, possibly because she loves me. That love was, is, so precious to me. I will crumble if bereft of it, and I will crumble with it.

"Drown cats and blind puppies"