For many hours I hovered between sleep and reality, flipping left and right with each ache of the shoulders and back. I haven't been sleeping well at all, and my studies suffer accordingly. I don't want to do literature because of its highly frustrating nature, even though its the subject that I'm lagging behind on.

I can't do history because the banks on the lecture notes haven't been filled in - I haven't been for the lectures - so I settle for economics and KI, the subjects I have closest to cold science.

I don't want to live like this anymore, really. Without the ability to chase my dreams - which have since long rotted - I am nothing. Can't study, can't do anything... can't even rest. What am I supposed to do?

I really should just die. Don't tell me how fortunate I am. I know how fortunate I am, as spelled out above. I just don't want to do this anymore.

There's no point blogging.